#shes (me) me in an alternative life where im normal <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[quillkiller]

i love being in charge of my work place’s social media i feel like im in my influencer era

[therearenonutsforsomeendermen]

Its currently 5:30 am as im writing this cuz I just woke up from a dream that actually made me mad

Im sitting on the steps in my house scrolling through youtube when I see a spiderverse shortfilm that was "an early script rendition that was scrapped" that they decided to animate for some reason. I Iater find that theres also one released to netflix that had an alternative beginning. I'll talk about the bits that I remember. We start with an interview with a news reporter who is interviewing miles as spiderman where after the interview it reveals that she knows miles personally and knows his secret. He then rides a motorcycle home? (Don't ask cuz I dont have an answer) He goes to the roof to find his dad gardening. (cuz why not) they talk for a bit and it seems like he want to tell him that he's spiderman, but before he can, the spot shows up and is angry at miles, as per usual, and starts tryna pick a fight with him when Miguel appears out of nowhere and decides that he wants to kill all 3 of them and he'll do it in anyway possible. He start by webbing jeff and the spot and throwing them in the air so he can focus on destroying miles. (or something) The spot, who could easily catch himself and land safely, decides that he can't do it, so Jeff has to. How could he do this, you may be asking yourself? Well, the spot, now free from the webs starts to TAKE HIS SUIT OFF REVEALING THAT HE WAS HUMAN UNDERNEATH THE WHOLE TIME. It was at this point that my dream self paused it and tossed the phone across the room, which is what I do when I'm mad at something I see on it. My sister then looks over at me and asks why I did it and I just look at her and go "I CAN'T TELL YOU >:(" there was a good ten minutes left in the video that I didn't watch so I don't know what happened after that

So lets talk about the fact that the spot wearing a SUIT COMPLETELY DISREGARDS HIS WHOLE STRUGGLE IN THE ACTUAL MOVIE. His struggle was that his whole life was destroyed because his face was gone and there was no way to get it back, and he resented spiderman for it. I know that in the comics, he had a suit and that he can make himself look normal when need be, (which is probably where my dream got the idea from) but the same does not go for the movie. His whole identity as the spot revolves around how everyone and everything he had was taken from him because of him no longer being human, so to make him human again makes it all pointless. So needless to say I was pissed off and dream me was glad that it was a scrapped version of the script.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk

[hiimtracher]

Meet the artist

basic info:

-my name is tracher

-Gynosexual/genderfluid/asexual (Gynosexualism is the attraction to feminine people)

-mentally ill (literaly i have psychosis)

my other blogs are :

-@giggles-the-clown0

-@hi-im-erick-and-this-is-my-story

-@hi-im-alex-the-therapist

-@the-forbidden-archive

-@ericks-fear-as-a-asexual

-@sir-gooseton

likes:

-music (punk and alternative rock as well as indie pop)(actually will listen to everything)

-drawing (obviously)

-astrnomy (space studies mainly stars and super-novas)

-terrariums and making them

-plants as in studies

-criminalogy and murder cases

-marine life

-bugs and other animals but mostly bugs

-DnD

-Dr.Pepper

-making plushise

dislikes:

-fears loud sounds and noises (Ligyrophobia)

-people

-very sceard of aggresive behaviour

My characters/ocs:

from adventures of planet rasvin and the forbbiden archives

1.green eyes / Max Antine

"The Wolf" / "Turn the lights off"

1984s age = 25 and 2024 age = 65

2.bebe / Harvey Rivers

"Choice" / "Yes, to Err is human, So Don't Be One"

1984s age = 4 and 2024 age = 44

3.Urshula Thomson / Lost queen

"Suburbia Overture / Greetings from Mary Bell Township! / (Vampire) Culture / Love Me, Normally" / "A mask of my own face"

1984s age = 23 and 2024 age = 63

4.Mike Jonson

"Toxic"/ "I/Me/Myself"

1984s age = 22 and 2024 age = 62

5.Ant queen / miss Antoine Insect

"Sacred beast" / "As your father i Expressly Forbid it"

1984s age =49 and 2024 age =89

6.plant king / sir.Dragon Snap

"Spring and a storm" / "The moss"

1984s age = 39 and 2024 age = 79

7.clown king / sir.1nt0ni4

"Im Sane" / "Brass Goggles"

1984s age = 47 and 2024 age = 87

8.mother of all / Elisa Thomson

"The beast is out there" / "Outliars and hypocritse: a fun fact about apples"

1984s age = 70 and 2024 age = 110 (dead)

9.The tall man

"Cabinet man" / "The Ballad of Jane Doe"

1984s age = 18 and 2024 age = 58

10.Cassian King

"Lonley king" / "Thermodynamic Lawyer Esq, G.F.D. - 2020 remastered version"

1984s age = 45 and 2024 age = 85

11.Theodor mimic

"I kissed a girl and i liked it" / "Love ne, Normally"

1984s age = 21 and 2024 age = 61

12.Henry Lukas (Thomson)

"Hayloft" / "I'm gonna win"

1984s age = 45 and 2024 age = 85

13.Erick Lukas

"Labirynth" / "An unhealthy obssesion"

1984s age = 45 and 2024 age = 85

14.Baryxon Insect

"Cicada Days" / "White knuckle Jerk (Where do you get off?)"

1984s age = 50 and 2024 age = 90

15.saint Philip Muk

"Only you" / "Charlie's inferno"

1984s age = 30 and 2024 age = 80

16.El Mariana Rattle

"Red moon" / "hell's coming with me"

1984s age = 46 and 2024 age = 86

17.La Lullah Pit

"Ship in a bottle" / "Wellerman"

1984s age = 30 and 2024 age = 80

18.Jayse Bug

"Cabinet man" / "The Ballad of Jane Doe"

1984s age = 50 and 2024 age = 90

19.SHE (Celestia Loomins)

"Labirynth" / "Laplace's angel(Hurt people?Hurt people!)"

1984s age = 50 and 2024 age = 90

20.Red moon

"Ruler of everything" / "Murderers"

1984s age = 51 and 2024 age = 91

21.Jax Fungus

"Coffe" / "hymn for a scearecrow"

1984s age = 4 and 2024 age = 44

22.Cole Lug

"Feed the macihne" / "the digital circus end theme"

a robot can't age like a human therefore created in 1985

23.Jamie Insect

"Chemical Overreaction / Coumpound Fracture - 2020 remastered version" / "Eight Wonder"

1984s age =18 and 2024 age =58

24.Rivel goatman

"Possibly in michigan Cannibal Animal" / "Cannibal"

1984s age = 49 and 2024 age = 89

25.Arkhel Astarion

"stuck inside" / "Along came a spider"

1984s age = 49 and 2024 age = 89

26.Dorothy Jakes

"Rule:4 fish in a birdcage" / "White knuckle Jerk (Where do you get off?)"

1984s age = 31 and 2024 age = 71

27.Margareth Rigs

"dr.Sunshine is dead" / "Zydrate anatomy"

1984s age = 30 and 2024 age = 70

28.Markus James Tinker

"the main character" / "One more try"

1984s age = 32 and 2024 age = 72

29.Peter Varmint

"Necromancin dancin" / "cicada days"

1984s age = 43 and 2024 age = 83

30.Koszmar Loomins

"Along came a spider" / "bottom of the river"

1984s age = 40 and 2024 age = 80

31.Sen Loomins

"" / ""

1984s age = 39 and 2024 age = 79

32.Emily Lukas

"Along came a spider" / "Everybody Loves Me"

1984s age = 3 and 2024 age = 43

33.Ragatha Bug

"" / ""

1984s age = 23 and 2024 age = 63

34.Alex Hierche

"the nowhere king" / "the dismembermet song"

1984s age = 20 and 2024 age = 60

35.Julio Peckish

"No girls toy" / "I Love You Like An Alcoholic"

1984s age = 21 and 2024 age = 61

36.Jazebel porri

"bury a friend" / "Freak"

1984s age = 21 and 2024 age = 61

37.Mage

"Devils train" / "Hungry for another one"

1984s age = 27 and 2024 age = 67

38.Marax

"The Nowhere King (Reprise 2)" / "Hungry for another one"

1984s age = 100 and 2024 age = 120

and the ones that are just from i dunno where

Alex Insect :>

[whalesforhands]

i want to say so many things abt stsg & mc in dyf au so bad omg. i feel like their characters aren’t getting across and i don’t feel like talking in fic writing language i just want to vomit everything out

and also bcs nobody talks to me in asks :(

dyf IS an alternative universe where gojo and geto get together late first year/early second year if you haven’t already noticed.

i headcanon it would be around christmas when it’s so called ‘official’

it’s just?? kind of decided unanimously one day that they get together since they get each other so well? unsaid lovers kinda thing

dyf!mc actually assumed they were already dating during the start of the first year. its definitely love at first sight when they butt heads as often as they do right? she swears that ppl with that type of relationship either end up in a grave or in bed together

i’ve said this before but stsg’s relationship is something i view as far more than friendship or just a romance. there is this… unsaid understanding between them despite their differences. i imagine them as mirror images of the other, two halves of a whole, soulmates ykwim

everyone thinks gojo is the horny one, but it’s geto x190%

when do all 3 get together? officially, not yet. third year aus are typically them teetering ON romantic relationship, but definitely holds no water yet. but there is an increase in skinship that dyf mc had settled comfortably into and thinks it’s perfectly normal.

i mean, she does that with shoko right?? what’s the diff if she does it with these 2 that she loves just as much (and may or may not have a crush on)

anyway, back to dyf mc

i don’t know if it’s super obvious to everyone yet, but dyf mc definitely has some degree of social anxiety and depression, explaining the way she pulls back and gets lost in her thoughts instead to feel safe

she understands what she feels, but it’s very very overwhelming u get?

mc is also shown to be sensitive to cursed energy if u also didn’t notice loll,,,, to the point she can pinpoint the 3. or is it just because she has trained herself to feel for their specific auras hmmm??

anyway. since stsg are ‘dating’, she does try very hard to suppress anything romantic she tends to feel, and WILL convince herself that lITERALLY anything they try on her is STRICTLY PLATONIC bcs she just can’t believe these 2 will ever like her in THAT manner yk

and shoko? shoko is single. shoko is pretty. shoko is flirting with her. but since stsg treat her LIKE THAT, she thinks this is what happens when you’re getting close to others right?

she likes it a lot. she hopes they continue to stay close to her. (LMAO DENSE ASF)

tbh i didn’t intend for shoko to be so involved with mc. i wrote it that way bcs i had an equally huge crush on her and it just integrated itself naturally into my writing LOL

also, the smut threesome fics were all practice fics lolllll. i’ve never written threesomes in my life and they were my first cracks at it

something special for getting all the way here bcs im just rambling haha. i’m trying to get ppl to interact with me i’m so sad and lonely writing all by myself

in the bully! satosugu au

gojo and mc were actually childhood friends! imagine that. growing up in the neighbourhood with that spoilt, but kind little white-haired brat but him moving away soon after

only to see him again when you’re way, way older!and that other black-haired guy that he seems to be super close with. you’re gonna be friends again, right?

and he’s never been so excited to see you! he’s so much taller now and his arms are so strong, so different from the weak chubby flab of the child him that you thought was adorable, so you’d always ask your mom for extra snacks to eat together!

but now he’s literally picking you up, your feet barely touching the ground as he holds you so so so tightly, as if afraid you’d disappear

it’s nice catching up with him, sitting with him and a close friend of his, geto suguru at lunch, following them to the convenience store after school to get a quick snack

only for him to ignore you the next week when you bound up to him smiling, greeting him with excited cheer. he quirks a brow at you, shoving you out of the way before walking away…

what… did you do wrong? what’s wrong with him?

[sir-sillybunny]

started a new skyrim save :3 im using real mods for once. i usually only play with "minor" mods like bug fixes and texture overhauls but this time i downloaded the immersive armor and weapons mod which is cool. i know that's still a very mild mod as it doesn't really affect gameplay that much but it's still a lot for me !!! also I used the alternate start mod.

anyway im playing as a dunmer named fibvallie (mixed and matched parts of names from a dunmer name generator lol). she goes by fib for short. she was born in windhelm. while growing up there she learned to steal to get by and grew obsessed with the rush of stealing, and crime in general, as it made her feel powerful and in control (which was difficult for her to feel normally becuz of how the nords oppressed her in windhelm). her parents strongly disapproved of her crime and she ran off when she was like 16-18 (in mer years) to join a group of bandits. she had fun with them for a few years but the bandit life grew boring and repetitive (and wasn't as lucrative as she hoped) so she stole from them and snuck away one night to become and a solo adventurer instead. and yeah. that's where she is now lol. ive only just started the save really so I haven't done much yet. im also playing on survival mode for the first time so things are taking longer to do but that's okay because it's fun. ill probably join the thieves guild and/or the dark brotherhood. maybe become a vampire. who knows lol

[princess-pill-enjoyer]

life's been okay. nothing special. days just keep on going. ive had a job for bout 2 weeks. ig thats not really an achievement tbh.

before this, that work from home place i was barely working, prolly 5-10 hours a week. and i'd slither out of those where possible anyway. this one week i worked a whopping 2 hours within 2 weeks. I was planning on killing myself and occasionally tried to all throughout having those jobs so i wasn't really worried about the consequences

before that the only other in person job i had was for my ex best friend. she worked there so i applied and got a job o work with her. only for her to quit 2 weeks after i got in whiich lead me to quit prolly a week n a half later cause i finally got fed up with the manager.

so now, even tho it ain't the longest ive held down a place, its the first that i really cared to put in effort to hold a job.

im semi celebrating but im honestly miserable. my feet hurt so fucking bad so it literally doesnt matter how good my hours are i never want to leave my bed. the people up there are so cliquey and on my 2nd day out of training one of my coworkers went off on me for going too slow and "not putting in my part". theyre starting to give me longer and longer shifts. i went from working 3-4 8 hour shifts per week to working 3 doubles just like that. they sooo generously give an hour and a half break in between the 6:30-3 and 4:30-8 shift but.. who in their right mind is even leaving atp? i live too far for that. i'd be home for at most an hour. waste of gas.

and to me what's worse, this whole situation is exactly what i've been avoiding. i knew it'd come down to this someday. but what alternative do i have?

HA. you know as a kid, i never understood addiction. I never thought I'd have to deal with it. By the time I was 8 I knew I'd kill myself someday. if i ever felt bad, that'd be what i'd do. no need to force myself to do something i didnt really wanna do. but now it seems so easy. i don't know what i wanna do from here. i hate my job. i hate my home life. i dont like to talk to my friends anymore. im bored of games. im bored of music. bored of tv.

whisking the days away doing what i have to would be a lot easier if i didnt have to be fully present for all of this. just something to pass the time until i have a better handle on what's the next move. right now, the only thing i can do is save up money. i have shit to pay off if i wanna keep a good credit score and i have things i need to buy. what's me hating every second gonna change?

though i know it's a slippery slope. abusing shit aint gon work out as smooth as I wish it would. I'll get addicted and then I'll get used to feeling that way so it'll take more for me not to get annoyed. then it'll turn back to me immediately running back to it for every minor situation. and honestly with the job i got i'd just have to hope i would be able to push through it without it being noticeable

i'm not happy i stopped. i feel like had i still been on dph i would've known for a fact how to make myself look normal. i could be gone out my mind but long as i get the shit right i could just daze through the days. but ya know. now. i ratted myself out

and now im stuck.

nothing more for me to do. nothing else i could be doing. nothing else i should be worried about other than making money

I never understood why adults always told me i'd miss being a kid since i was always struggling so bad. all they ever said is that my problems then were gonna feel like nothing once i was an adult. but they were wrong. i guess for now. but all i wish now is that i used all that freetime back when nooo one woulda suspected anything if i was away for a lil while. back when i wasnt ful grown and it'd prolly take a whooole lot less to finish the job

but here we are. forced to keep going and doing what i can to suppress what i really wanna do

ah speaking of which... i got pissed the other day and i tossed one of my drawers and broke it. then broke my bottle for my vitamins by throwing it to the ground. then i accidentally knocked over this container of beads and instead of just sweeping it back into the thing and reducing the mess, i just kicked it as hard as i could and tore the container apart. there's still beads everywhere

that is something i can't force myself to contain anymore. everything else i've been dealing with fine but when im pissed im pissed. i gotta get that under control too

[badwithten]

good short stories for @papermatisse

ok homie needed help writing short fics so heres a list of some short fics i like and what makes them so good despite their length (this sounds insulting but its difficult to make a story effective and short, so if you're on this list you’ve done a good job at it!)

sweet tooth by @lino-nyangi

ok so what i said about ongoing metaphors, this is sorta in the same boat but its less of a metaphor and more of a theme/how to run along a story? like because it flows through y/ns birthdays and each scene is that and the progression of it, it keeps you engaged. its very clear what the story is about, what the end of the story will be and it makes it so satisfying to read!

a life we spent apart for the death we spent together by @lebrookestore

brooke is an amazing writer and usually does do longer fics machi so check her our fr but this drabble works so well with me bc its a familiar theme that the readers know. being so short, you don’t have the words to world build or create depth with your characters the way you normally would. so picking a concept people are familiar with (in this case soulmate au) it allows the reader to already be invested in your story without having to write a lot. if that makes sense? you can just add your story and your feelings, into an already existing universe and get the point across. very cool

return our lives by @hoshwife 

ok sorry to say this again but mads is an amazing writer! legit one of my favourite, if not my favourite, on this app. once again, she does longer fics as well that you should def check out machi. but this story in particular is amazing, reading this again omg, just as good as the first time. i’m not sure how to describe mads writing, as i said above picking a familiar theme allows readers to be invested in the story without a lot of world building/character development but i feel although this story is the opposite. writing about the war which isnt common on this site, very descriptive of the world in the story. mads has just done such a good job at writing something so good but still fitting it into a bit sized fic. this is probably the most “scene of a fic” one on this list i guess? just read you’ll see what i mean lmao anything from mads is so good so yess check it out

crimson by @neo-shitty​

horror! if you're able to put a twist or some gory effects in a story it can be really effective at leaving an effect on the reader. this story does this so well! captures you in at the beginning, and then the last part is just done so well, no spoilers but if you do read it omg. i really really love horror stories for this reason. the twist of the horror. it makes a story great and it can be either done in longer fics or shorter ones ( i have so many long horror suggestions machi hmu bro)

dark clouds by @doiefy​

sorta the same as horror, but some alternate universes work well in smaller bits. i’ve done something with siren/mermaids where it was just a smaller chunk out what could've been a longer au. allows you to write something in there without a full fic, means you don’t have to work out all the lore of a full universe but its still really fun to write! this fic has done a similar thing to mads where you get to build up a little bit of the universe its set in, just enough for your story to make sense then to focus on what the narrative of your story actaully is. if that makes sense?

my last season called ‘you’ by @zh-lele​

i know we already read this story for k-bookclub but it really fits well for the ongoing metaphor point i talked about a little bit. the story is told through sections of the flowers, each feeling is represented by the flowers and what they mean. it’s just a great way to get across the point and meaning of your story

this one doesn’t have a specific fic recommendations but song fics! im a bit bias on this one bc i enjoy writing song fics, but if an artist can fit the narrative of their song into a 3-4 minute song, its sorta the same thing trying to write your story into the same short frame. its really fun like analysing the song, what the meaning is and trying to turn it into a story with the same meaning and effectiveness

this is a lot shorter than i wanted but if anyone has any types on writing shorter fics let me or machi know 🙏

[kuromi-hoemie]

long personal (?) rant bc im stoned and I Wanna Talk About It because i never get to talk about it !! 😤

i feel better now that i talked about it :3

i wish people who grew up with, or at least encountered, ghosts were a lot more common. i feel like u get so many more interesting questions once you've moved past a simple "do ghosts exist?"

they were a v regular thing from when i was in 4th grade up till i moved out at 18, and even then i still come across stuff sometimes here and there a decade later. i also had a friend who was a medium and my prev landlord was a witch and the world is so interesting!!

like just w ghosts it's crazy to think about how there's this barely perceivable reality that overlays ours but in some places/circumstances u interact with it and it w you, but there's layers 2 it bc ghosts r everywhere all the time but u wouldn't notice it. u just do Sometimes.

and my mom would do readings for ppl and do a questions n answers sorta thing where she'd let something/someone control her arm 2 write the responses n they'd b p specific and were 100% accurate. and my medium friend just straight up could See them and we actually met bc my guardian spirit jumped out at her and Needed 2 tell me something, and we stepped aside n actually had a long personal chat akdjfkak it was a good life changing one tho i was lowkey suicidal n needed to hear it. (i got better after btw and a gal's loving life (❁´◡`❁) i was just in a really rough place 16-18 (⁠´⁠-⁠﹏⁠-⁠`⁠；⁠))

but like! on top of ghosts, there really is a whole guardian spirit system i know nothing about besides the fact that it exists.

and then there's psychics of various kinds that interact w The Universe™ in their own ways. i haven't tried to do the automatic writing thing since i was a teen but i do have my own divination system i made up w a normal deck of cards, I used a pendulum too but my cards r just comfier n faster paced :3 and then there's qi and i remember doing an exercise that's supposed 2 introduce u 2 manipulating it and i remember my hands felt weird n warm afterwards and when i ran them over my arms it felt like static from a balloon n made my hairs react to it 0:

and my witch friend could do distant healing n reiki, but she could do a bunch of other stuff too n had her whole belief system/framework she was working with. she was a rly sweet old gal (⁠✿ ‚‚⌒‿⌒‚‚) very private about her practices though she was kinda ostracized for it growing up so she doesn't actually Talk about it much. i asked her 2 teach me a few times 😹 the distant healing session was fun n she told me when she found me in the astral plane i was like o hey!! and gestured 2 her like i was inviting her into a party and let her right in.

she got a rly interesting visual of me i have written down in detail somewhere from when we talked about it after, and it's just crazy to think about the different ways people interact with *gestures vaguely* like?? we connected in a way i wouldn't have imagined was a thing.

as a space nerd i love thinking about how the universe is So Big and the concept of alternate universes, but then i remember that just being Here on Earth is so interesting!! what is going on w these subtle realities, how r we interacting w them, how do u get to go deeper here. I've been slowly chipping away at it since my years at home trying 2 understand but sm of it has been through observation and interaction and reading, Mostly reading as an adult since i don't get to observe directly as often.

by now i have a p good framework 2 work with for making sense of everything i know so far, but i feel like a huge hole in my research is doing and learning stuff on the witch side of things. Like daoism was a lot easier to dive into and is the closest to how i understand things but i wanna know more about being a witch and being a psychic and i want to be more interactive.

I am forever just wanting 2 learn (⁠〒⁠﹏⁠〒⁠) this has been something of a lifelong journey i pick up at different times in my life. like u can't go from experiencing a childhood like that and be satisfied with leaving it at that, I have so many questions!! my overarching goal has been getting far enough to be able 2 actually Ask a question and figure out how 2 get more info frm the source ykwim.

and then another thing is how under specific circumstances i unintentionally conjure (or attract?) malevolent spirits and it happens like once every five years (⁠￣⁠ヘ⁠￣⁠;⁠) i kind of understand what initiates that so i know how to avoid it, but what about the opposite? how do i conjure or attract something benevolent? why is this a thing that i do at all?? what r The Mechanisms behind this.

the tinkerer in me is going mad at knowing all of this is Right There but i don't know how to do much with it 😹 YET anyways 😼 a gal's been busy!! just kinda waiting for life 2 settle down a bit and i think when I've moved into my next place I'll have the capacity/time for it. i wanna learn about witch stuff but it's so hard lol. conversations I've had w them in passing have been crazy but if u try 2 look online without knowing What To Look For there's sm new age garbage ajdjdjak. i don't want some superficial bs i want The Framework babes i wanna go A-Z w it and fully rotate it in my mind and reconcile it w my current understanding. i want to make things less abstract!!

[romanscool]

here's everything you need to know about me!

hi! my name's roman (she/they), and I'm a yapper. absolutely love to yap on here and on ao3, where I've only posted maxiel content yet (im a little obsessed with them.)

I've sorted everything for y'all to find what you want to find in four categories: 1- WORKS, 2- WIPs (work in progress), 3- TUMBLR FICS, 4- TAGS

1- WORKS:

which could mean nothing (but does it ever?): completed

-> F1 RPF - Max Verstappen/Daniel Ricciardo - Rated: E - 90k

« Wanna dance Maxy? » Daniel lets out in a breath. He’s panting, body overworked from dancing after a full day’s of racing, and the sound is sweet to Max’s brain. Makes him want to hear it again. OR - Max trying to cope with the feelings he's been developing for Daniel since 2016.

chapter 1, chapter 2, chapter 3, chapter 4, chapter 5, chapter 6, chapter 7, chapter 8, chapter 9, chapter 10, chapter 11, chapter 12, chapter 13, chapter 14, chapter 15, chapter 16, chapter 17, chapter 18

a whisper of what once was: completed -> F1 RPF - Max Verstappen/Daniel Ricciardo - Rated: E - 9k Max likes that he’s been noticing little things about Daniel everyday. He feels a bit like a creep, like he’s keeping a little journal of everything Daniel does, but. He still does it. He’s been noticing Daniel has a little routine when it comes to brushing his teeth. It’s usually pretty normal while he does the brushing, besides the violent rage he inflicts on the bristles, but it’s after that it gets fun. Daniel always shakes the water two times in his mouth before spitting it out. He rinses the sink three times. Never uses a towel or anything to brush off the remaining toothpaste around his mouth, just kinds of passes his forearm over it hastily. Max has to clean him a second time often. He kisses the white spots like they were never even here today, too. It just feels weird that he’s allowed to do that in the bathroom he’s used since before he can remember. OR some fluffy post 'which could mean nothing' max and daniel spending christmas in the netherlands 1 chapter: a wcmn (bdie?) epilogue

dinner is served : WIP

-> F1 RPF - Max Verstappen/Daniel Ricciardo - Rated: E - 5k

Max blinks a couple times. Doesn’t answer. Just dives right in, licking stripes across Daniel’s pussy like it’s the only thing she’s ever wanted to do in her life. « Fuck, Max-, not even-, » It’s hard to come up with a joke when Max fucking Verstappen is eating you out, but Daniel kind of feels lie she has to. She’s still feeling lingering nervousness at this being her first time ever with another girl. « not even gonna take me out to dinner first? »   Max pulls off. She grins a little. « This is dinner. » and just laughs. Daniel does too. This is stupid. She should’ve seen it coming. It’s such a bad joke but Daniel can see Max’s abs contracting under the little layer of fat, and her tits bounce a bit, in a mesmerizing up and down that’s definitely turning Daniel on, and she’s glad Max’s eyes are closed because if they weren’t she would probably be able to see slick dripping down Daniel’s pussy.   « Yeah, okay. » Daniel’s back hits the bed. It makes a creaky hotel-room-bed sound. « Knock yourself out, then. »

chapter 1, chapter 2, chapter 3

2- WIPs

this is new to me, too:

-> F1 RPF - Max Verstappen/Daniel Ricciardo - Rated: E

tags: teen!maxiel, high school band AU, trans!max

basically, just some cute shit and what ifs including maxiel meeting when they were teens in an alternate universe where they both sign up for band,,,

which should mean nothing (but it always does):

-> F1 RPF -Max Verstappen/Daniel Ricciardo - Rated: E

tags: idiots in love (yes that's maxiel), unreliable narrator (that one is all daniel though), mental health issues, miscommunication, angst with a happy ending

3- TUMBLR FICS

this can all be very neatly found in this tag: kiss prompt

4- TAGS

i have PLENTY of tags, but here are a couple that are pretty symbolic to me,,,

teeth, fic rec, fanart rec

that's all, thanks so much for taking an interest in my blog!! enjoy

lots of love, roman <3

[olivedoesmagic]

Journal 103: wrapping up book 1

It was nice while it lasted. Being a doll a toy a rushusaha. And truly this suti still belongs to her and others who have taken me on. But I’m stitched back together again. Which means olive is no longer a student of mine. She is once again me and my own person. God that was an adventure. I wish i had written more of it down.

So I’ve been learning nuclear phyhics high ranking math through magickal systems and proving it on youtube form carbon dating cassette tapes, to recykclables and the sky, i now have a playlist on youtube of all my time travel escapades even down to books on target. And dollar bills. I have alot of evidence ive time traveled now and even caught alternate reality music on tape. Im not giving out my youtube channel though,. Its underground and would prove im olive brimstone.

It turns out i have facial dymorphsm. A dissorder where like a cat my face imprints on wats around me and well known preferences of the time. And morphs into what is liked and  beloved. Im also as a result of extreme reality sickness and ritual elleberate ellebereate ritual temporarily schizophrenia, and i dont mind. It made me a nuclear physhist, and cia agent but god was it alot of work. Also im banging slender man. I love him.

Im more so focused on time travel these days then reality shifting. ANd I think this for good reason. But the following before I leave this book closed are rituals, to manifest MMD music videos of your life, regular music vidoes, and a fictional story based off it. Its also designed so you dont have to work for it. But be warned you get nothing of payment in tese rituals but being known. As a fictional character. OK? OK.

So for teh fictional story write a bullet point outline and make a power point on the coolest adventure youve done. Then do 3 hexegrams, a sentence in the center, a circle, and stars and at the end leave an anime avatar and requests regarding your trope. Promise in your name to FICTONA that you wont pruse harms way towards the creatives and promise CREATA your likeness and you;ll never stop being written about. Carve your name in blood on the printed out power point and bury it at a crossroads or a grave. Even that of an animal to benign.

To get a normal music video slightly edit the mmd royal minortally.

Get in an environment and place yourself in an outfit or a green jumpsuit. Then tape yourself singing to music and being creative while daydreaming heavily what you wish to do. Then carve draw in chalk spray paint or draw in dirt three triangles towards where you did the center piece then towards its outskirts for the final stage a circle in spray painted blue. You can also use bedsheets to mark it. Then select an aniamteor off a list of imaginary quota and sesal it with a kiss imagininag a red line to a letter and you will be animated.

Welps gotta blast!

-Olive Brimstone

Journal 103: wrapping up book 1

[thisisanude]

not feel so confused anymore. because even tho it does feel so good to be with her it ultimately leads to so so so many more complications like i couldn’t handle all of those i really can’t i can never come out to my family and especially not date her and tell them hell no that would never happen i can’t imagine how they would even react. and also i feel so guilty about how good it feels to be with her that it’s like hard to breathe sometimes because ill just get a pit of impending doom in my stomach and not be able to eat or sleep or do anything. i never expected this feeling to get so strong. when i first felt an inkling of it it was wayyyy less serious like just silly fun not deep but now it’s like no im guilty im not a good person im a heartbreaker he would fully hate me if he knew and i really hate myself too. i keep telling myself ill stay away from her and distance myself (slightly cuz i also love her as a friend and i would never want to lose that) but i cant help but want to get closer every time i talk to her or see her. this feels like an impossible thing to figure out. i dont know what to do i really dont. i keep thinking about his old neighbor that he told about us beginning to and he was like be careful dude she might do it to you too. and i was so upset at the time. because i was like i really dont think i would cuz i like you more than ive ever liked anyone how could i want to lose that. i dont know. has my opinion of him changed in a negative light throughout the years. there were multiple fights we had that significantly changed the way i saw him i would just ignore them because hes just mentally ill and when hes not being mentally unwell hes so so nice to me and a really good bf. i dont know. is that just me trying to think of excuses for my fucked up mind. ugh. i remember back in the day thinking ill be surprised if we make it to year 4 of our relationship right after hitting year 3. but now we’re on year 5 and i haven’t thought the same thing since that moment but - i wonder if we will make it to year 6. i really do but also how could we not like i cannot break up with him i really can’t his family texts me and they’ve met my mom and my grandpa knows about him and everyone loves him and he’s literally learning my fucking native language ljke he’s on duolingo he got a LONG ASS streak like holy shit i can’t i can’t do this. i really can’t im freaking out this is affecting my life more than honestly anything else at this point although my mri is very up there as well. but honestly altho i am very scared of that i dont think about it nearly as much as i think about this. and that says something.

i don’t know what to do. i feel delusional. i feel like im going crazy. we were friends for 6 YEARS before this and half of those years we were allowed to fuck and nothing ever fucking happened literally nothing like what is different this time. please. what’s different. what changed. i’m trying to think back on the very first moment i was like oop. and it’s really hard to think of the very beginning it kind of just happened i got more excited to see her and talk to her and i wanted to touch her more than ever before. this is really upsetting. another thing is the biggest concern for him in our open relationship is that i leave him for a girl. the rules he’s set for me are all to help that not happen. clearly didn’t work tho!

FUCK

what do i do

i just want to feel normal so bad

or live in the alternate dimension where i am with her and it doesn’t hurt so bad

it hurts so bad it hurts so bad God God God i’m fucked i’m fucked this is so painful i don’t know how to deal this hurts so bad i feel like my body is shutting down i feel like i can tdocsnhthjgg and there’s no solution there’s no fix because there’s no way i could ever 1) come out to my family and 2) leave my perfect boyfriend that my family loves and that i also love and have so many good memories with ???? but why am i so sad why does it feel so bad how am i going to get over this im literally nonstop feeling this awful feeling of impending doom and it’s just getting worse and seeing her feels so good but hurts a lot like so bad and i can’t do this i really don’t know what to do i need to make a choice i don’t want to make it i really don’t want to please don’t make me please don’t i hate this so bad and the guilt of emotional cheating is eating me up so bad actually eating me alive. like i can’t eat i feel bad all the time and to be fair im anxious about a lot of things rn but this is one of the top and nothing makes me as guilty as this. i’ve never felt this guilty before i really haven’t. in front of my boyfriend, in front of my family. not to mention this is how my relationship right now kinda started. like not fully but kinda this time with a lot more nuances. in my past relationship i loved him but i was never in love with him i don’t think. i knew i didn’t wanna be with him forever. and i wanted to break up months if not a full year before actually breaking up. i was just too pussy to do it and i was going back and forth with it but i was questioning our relationship and i wished i was single but in like a lowkey way like if he broke up with me id be ok type of way but i cant break up with him also i still like having a bf IDK. but my current boyfriend i was in love with for multiple years and even tho we’ve had periods in our relationship where it was rough we always came back and i really genuinely always thought we’d be together forever. i mean we’ve been together for 5 years and i feel like our lives are so intertwined like i have so so so many memories with him so many periods of my life where im like heavily with him and so many gifts from him and so many inside jokes and inside fun and i don’t understand what happened i really don’t i’m so lost im so lost i don’t know how this could’ve happened i just want to be honest honestly but i can’t i can’t i can never hurt him hes so precious and i love him so much. i don’t understand how i can love him as much as i do with my newfound issue like im doing the thing that hurts him the most by having feelings for someone else how dare i say i love him. im such a bad person i want to tell everyone they’re right and they need to stay away from me and i dont deserve to be happy and i just want to die honestly this makes me dissociate so heavy that maybe its a good thing that my mri was moved because im gonna be dissociating more heavily now. im not ok at all this is too much i cant handle it i feel so bad i dont know how to be a real person i just want to feel normal i just want to be ok. i keep thinking about spring semester and how good it was like up until april i would say except april was really good but really bad at the same time because that is when i realized it. i really wish i could have both of them i really wish that i was polyamorous but he is really not so thats never going to happen. but this makes me think back and think why did this happen like did our relationship also go downhill without me noticing. and it felt like we were having some upsetting fights not long before then like the one in august and then another 2 in november ? but then december felt really good with him it felt like things were getting better we had another fight in january but i don’t even remember what it was about. and it’s been a long time since then wow i feel like a fully different person. it’s crazy how much things have changed. i don’t know who i am anymore. i really don’t. i’m scared. i’m really scared. i just want to go home and feel normal and feel grounded and

[goffilolo]

black clover thoughts part 4: the crack edition

at this point i am ignoring canon and embracing my crackhead ideas that are not only implausible but also ridiculous. it's time for the fuckin AUs (those of you who followed me for my bnha demise!au know what kinda brand of fuckery im on):

my personal opinion is that the entire spade arc would've been resolved much quicker and funnier if asta just straight up got himself contracts with the dark triad's devils after beating the zogratis' asses (no don't ask me how that happens, i dont know either and also i dont care). what i do care about however is that this then results in asta having a demonic quartet of little gremlins running around, eating all his food, being general nuisances and providing unwanted commentary. i call this the 'peanut gallery au'. the only thing that asta can actually do about them is put in them in his grimoire for a time out if they start fighting each other too much. there are now 8 devils living in the black bulls' base including nacht's. there's so much drama, it's like clover kingdom's equivelant of bruno's rat telenovelas. bitches from magic parliament show up at the base to see how the whole devil investigation is coming along and gordon, of all people breaks a bottle on the floor and yells 'SCATTER' with all the devils running and hiding in the most ridiculous places. At some point megicula is allowed to manifest in her normal size for good behaviour and the first thing this bitch says is 'i should be allowed to curse the king, you know, as a treat' it takes a very uncomfortable amount of time for anyone to disagree with her. lucifero walks around pissed the entire goddamn time, because not only does the contract stop him from using his magic without permission, he can't even run his magic through asta, because this kid is the single most useless host to any devil except liebe and his godforsaken anti-magic.

you know who deserved better? my bestie licita. as far as i know she never gave up asta for adoption, lucifero never showed up to fuck with liebe and she got to raise both of her magicless idiot sons. this also has the added bonus of the whole family becoming Hage's cryptids. Just imagine Hage having like stories of some woman living in the woods who steals magic and life from all creatures and has 2 sons with no magic and one of them looking like a fuckin demon. the potential people, the potential. not to mention asta having no fuckin idea that anything about his family is even remotely abnormal for majority of his life to the point where when asta actually meets noelle's siblings at that magic knight's award party he just looks at all of them and goes 'where's your devil sibling?' 'our what now?' 'you heard me'.

also i seen some posts floating around tumblr of 'what if the dark triad kept yuno around to be their puppet king' so you got evil dumb bitch yuno having 2 uncles and an aunt who are fuckin psychopaths. and as much as those posts were hysteric i present you an alternative: what if the zogratis siblings weren't evil, instead they were spade kingdom's equivelant of black bulls, like they still got their devil contracts and all that jazz, but they're just a trio of absolute fuckin weirdos and the king of spade in a stroke of genius is like 'you know what would be a good idea? entrusting my only son yuno to those 3 weird bitches'. which then results in medieval fantasy retelling of 3 men and a baby. Also just to make things clear, allen aint dead in this AU so zenon gets to be married man he was always meant to be. When yuno grows up and visits clover for like diplomatic reasons (with his uncles and aunty obv) he meets magic knights including asta who at this point is already rocking those demonic frienship bracelets with liebe and the zogratis siblings are equally baffled and jealous because none of their devils can fully manifest like that? how did you do it?

[superhero--imagines]

Part 1 Here! / Part 2 Here! / Part 3 Here! / Part 4 Here! / Part 5 Here! / Part 6 Here! / Part 7 Here! / Part 8 Here! / Part 9 Here! / Part 10 Here! / Part 11 Here! / Part 12 Here! / Part 13 Here! / Part 14 Here! / Part 15 Here! / Part 16 Here! / Part 17 Here! / Part 18 Here! / Part 19 Here! < This is Part 20!>

Donate to Move to Higher Ground HERE!

A/N: There’s not going to be an update on Wednesday (it’s the day after my birthday and I’m going to go cry at the space station) lol. The next two parts will be like - alternative timeline/pov/intermission posts. Which will just be to add some depth to the story I guess. Stay safe! See you next Saturday!

* “Get out”

* You can’t have been parked more than five minutes before Jessica prys the driver side door open from the outside

* You’re hunched over the binder in your lap, hurriedly scrawling answers onto the worksheet

* Edward just sighs, moving to get out of the car

* “Wait-“

* You stop him by placing your hand on his shoulder

* Edward grins, so these are boyfriend privileges huh?

* You’re going to pick him over your human friends. Well he would be lying-

* “Give me the answer to the last question before you go.”

* Edward deflates

* Guess somethings don’t change.

* “It’s sin(x) equals 18”

* You nod, quickly writing down the answer

* “Thanks Edward.” You mumble learning over to press a chaste kiss to his cheek

* “Now get out”

* He stands outside the jeep a goofy grin on his face, a hand touching the place your lips were on his cheek

* Well at least some things change

* You don’t miss Jessica’s gaze on you as you put your binder into your backpack

* “So... what do you want to talk about Jess?”

* You don’t miss the incredulous look she gives you

* “So about Edward then”

* “Yeah, no duh”

* You let out a deep sigh

* “Where do you want me to start?”

* How far back does this story even go?

* Probably when you saw him that first time in Denali

* His angular face, and those deep amber eyes

* And those butterflies in your stomach

* “You can start with what happened after you guys left the party!”

* So you’re going to have to fast forward a bit

* “Well he was mad because-you know two against one- if it was anyone else it would have been a traumatic experience waiting to happen”

* She nods, thinking you’re talking about you

* You’re talking about something transitive happening to those boys

* For those boys if they tried something with you that is

* You were pretty far gone, you might have actually killed them if Edward hadn’t come to get you

* Not out of anger, just negligence

* At the very best they might have cried if you weren’t able to control your emotions

* “And then after - we were arguing- and then it was just happening”

* “You guys had s*x?”

* You sputter

* “Geez no! We were kissing, get your mind out of the gutter Jess.”

* “Well I don’t know (Y/N/N), he’s been pinning after you since freshman year a kiss just seems anticlimactic all things considered ”

* Besides you guys have this vibe around you-

* Like a sort of intimacy or something-

* You’ve both always had a sort of closeness.

* Like it was the two of you in one world, and then everyone else in another

* But now there’s a physical closeness to you both

* The kind of vibe people who are sleeping together usually give off.

* She saw it when you were together at the aquarium

* “Nah that’s impossible” you let out a long sigh

* “I’m pretty sure he wants to wait until marriage”

* Jessica sputters at that

* “M-marriage? Holy crap (Y/N)-“

* You nod, it’s such an antiquated notion.

* Especially considering you’re both technically dead

* Honestly, what could be more awkward than a couple of virgins fumbling around in the dark for a few hours on their wedding night?

* “He wants to marry you?!?”

* Oh

* Yeah that would be the normal thing to be concerned about

* “I’m not really sure” you scratch the back of your head

* “You’re my soul mate”

* He had said it so causally, like he was talking about gravity or the weather

* Like it was a universal fact

* The words make your stomach flutter

* Ugh you don’t have time to think about this

* “Well that’s what happened, and now Carlisle is always crying in the house and Esme is already planning weddings. Now come on we’re going to be late for class”

* You get out of the car before Jess can get a word in edgewise

* So this is really happening

* She sighs

* Well she’s be lying if she said she didn’t see this coming

* She knows there’s a lot of people competing for your affection

* Hell even Conner dropped his f*ck boy tendencies for you

* But Edward is the only one who looks at you, and only you

* Jessica’s guilty of it too, she’ll admit that

* You’re her first choice, don’t get her wrong, but if you don’t return her affections

* Well that’s fine, she’ll just date Mike, or Conner, or Bella or whoever

* It’s the same for the rest of them

* Conner will be bummed when he finds out-

* Mostly because he can’t believe he dropped his other side pieces

* But he’ll get over it

* Just like Mike did

* But Edward-

* There’s no one other than you for him

* She see’s it in the way he looks at you.

* If it’s not you, it’s just not any good

* So he’ll wait, maybe even his entire life, until you’re ready to love him back

* A small smile twitches on her face

* She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t happy for you

* “I wonder if anyone will ever love me like that” she mumbles to herself, right before flinching in surprise when you swing the passenger door open

* “Oh my god you scared me!”

* “I scared you?!? Jess this is my car, how am I supposed to lock it if you’re sitting inside?”

* “Oh right”

* You make it to class by the skin of your teeth, taking you seat between Edward and Alice in English

* “So what did you two talk about?” Edward whispers with a small smile while the teacher calls roll

* You roll your eyes

* “Like you don’t know”

* He has a sly smile on his face and you’re not sure why

* Alice starts obviously stifling laughter beside you

* Rude but okay

* Edward leans close to you, so close his lips are only a centimeter away from your ear

* Does he mind?

* Maybe he’s immune to sexual feelings, but being that close is doing things to you

* “I’m actually not waiting for marriage by the way”

* You can practically feel the grin on his face

* You look up to him, your golden eyes meeting his

* You were right he is smiling

* His smile takes a mischievous turn, and you feel his hand slide onto your thigh and give a teasing squeeze

* “Didn’t want you to have any misconceptions” he says with the same sly grin as he removes his hand from your leg and leans back in his chair

* Ah

* So that’s why Alice was laughing

* (Y/N). Exe is broken

Bonus:

* “Hey”

* Bella looks up to see the Jessica standing by her locker as she pulls her books out

* “Oh hey, did you get to talk to them?”

* “Um yeah, it’s about what we were thinking.”

* Bella nods, if she’s sad she’s not showing it.

* “It’s good that they’re together. He loves them a lot, I’m sure Edward will treat them right”

* Jessica nods, Edward does love you a lot.

* She watches Bella try to cram books into her bag

* She is kinda pretty now that she looks at her, in that angular face- snow white kinda way

* She’s no (Y/N)

* And she’s no Mike

* “Hey did you finish the trig homework? I was having tr-“

* But maybe-

* “Hey, Angela and I are going dress shopping in port a, do you want to come with?”

* Maybe they can be friends

* They both liked the same person, so they’ve already got something in common

* Bella looks at the blonde

* To be honest, she’s been holding everyone here at a distance

* In a few years she won’t see any of these people ever again, there’s no need to get attached

* Not after what happened in Arizona

* But still-

* “Yeah, that sounds like fun.”

* Guess she never learns

Tags:  @moonlights27​ @thebluetint​ @the100thtwilight​ @awesomebooklover17​ @oneofthepotterheads​ @smileygirl08​ @imdoingathingmom​ @iconicgguk​ @yrawn​ @alyciaswhore​ @little-horror-show​ @wicked-watering-can​ @lazydreamers​ @ xxxmuxxx @ideas-for-you-to-adopt​​​ @poisoinedhope @maryleigh8796​​ @moose-squirrel-asstiel​​ @hotmessgoodness​ @jaimewho​ @corabmarie​ @what-am-i-doing10​ @alluring-venus​ @imdoingathingmom @anotheryooniverse​ @im-tired-not-sleepy​ @emmettcullenisahimbo​ @my-super-musical-life​ @smolvampiregirl​ @it-was-all-a-beautiful-dream​ @mihikaahujaaa @werewolflover3252​ @teenagezombiekryptonite @shynz​ @reclusive-chicken-nugget​ @monkeyluver4546 @wonhomarshmallow​ @bwbatta @bubblyabs​ @thatwaspossesion​

[amor-immortalem]

Everything Undesired chapter 4

Chapter 3

Warning: mention of torture? Light victim blaming, Lucifer, Satan, and Beel commit murder.

“I see,” Diavolo had a contemplative look on his face. The demon lord, often seen with a jovial, bright smile plastered upon his face, now had replaced it with a more serious look as Lucifer explained just what had happened to his brother. “And you’re positive this is what happened to Mammon?”

“Asmo is certain enough that he would stake his title as Avatar of Lust on it.” Satan spoke up.

“I see, if that’s the case then I will permit you up to the human world to pay these women a visit. Make sure they suffer, all three of you.” The warmth in his voice, his eyes, now replaced with a cold tone and a wrathful look, absolutely enraged that a demon not just under his rule, but in his cabinet no less had been assaulted in this manner. He may have failed in protecting the Avatar of Greed from this but he would see to it that a crime this grave never happened again to one of his subjects. “I’d would go in your stead to deal with them myself, but I will stay behind and work to pass legislation to ban the making of pacts freely. This will not happen again; I swear it on my life and my throne.”

And with Diavolo’s permission the three Avatars were off, out for blood for the travesty that befell their brother. Once they were gone, Diavolo turned to his butler.

“Barbatos, did you foresee this at all? Was there not anything we could have done differently to prevent this?” For as angry as he is, the demon lord feels a certain sense of guilt for what happened to the white-haired demon. What kind of ruler cannot protect one of his subjects from something so heinous?

“In another reality, yes.” He nodded, “But never in this one specifically, my Lord.”

“What happens next?”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The three Avatars stand outside the residence of the witches. Lucifer is the first to step forward, demon form manifesting from the wrath coursing through his being. The aura he emits is suffocating to all around him. A knock on the door is all the courtesy he plans to give them tonight.

When the door opens, there is a collective gasp.

“L-Lord Lucifer,” One of the sisters steps back as the three demons barge their way inside the building. “To what do we owe the honor of this visit from not only you, but your younger brothers as well?”

“Do not. DO NOT ACT AS IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’VE DONE TO OUR BROTHER!” Satan roars, his demon for making its appearance. He’s ready to go on the attack however it’s Lucifer that stops him with a simple wave of the hand.

“We know everything you’ve done.” The eldest’s voice is cold, gaze calculated. “You’ve not only laid a hand on one of my brothers, but my favorite one at that. That in and of itself is enough to warrant your deaths, but to cause him such suffering will ensure they are not quick.

With another wave of his hand, the Avatar of Pride bound the three women before letting his brothers have a go at the other two. The eldest was his.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Asmo took a step into his brother’s room and was devastated to see the look on his brother’s face. He looked so broken; his cheeks soaked with tears as Asmo heard Arella speaking.

“You don’t have to do it if you’re not strong enough for it. I’m sure there are alternatives we could find if you can’t. Just remember, you’re not alone in this. We all will help you if you decide to go through with this.”

The demon’s curiosity was piqued. Just what we’re they talking about?

“’Rella, I can’t ask that of any of you. This is my punishment for bein’ so powerless.”

Asmodeus cleared his throat to gain her their attention.

“What are you two talking about? Did something else happen?”

Arella only picked up the phone and handed it to him. What he saw was enough to pull a gasp from the demon. It made him sick.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As soon as it had begun, the torture was over. None of the three brothers had even broken a sweat at this point. The witches hadn’t even lasted that long. Blood and viscera coat the floor, bones stick out from odd places, one has pieces missing from her body here and there- bite marks and missing flesh, even a missing arm- all courtesy of the Avatar of Gluttony.

“Beel, are you hungry or has anger tided your hunger?”

“I'm famished,” The Avatar of Gluttony confirmed.

“Go ahead and dispose of their bodies then. Make sure no trace of them remains.” The Avatar of Pride nods to his younger brother.

It was then that they heard it- the screaming cry of a frightened baby. The sound was easy to miss over the shrieking and wailing- the pleas for mercy that would never come. One by one, their heads turned to the sound just upstairs as they all came to terms with the fact that a child had been born from this travesty.

Satan was the first to move as he climbed the stairs. Just off to the right was a tiny nursery and lying in the crib, he found the child. All of his instincts were screaming at him to do away with the infant. He almost did had it not been for Lucifer’s hand placed on his shoulder. They were soon joined by Beel as all three of them peered down at the tiny child below them.

“What do we do?” Beel asked.

“Do we take them with us? Or do we leave them to the proverbial wolves?”

Both brothers looked to the eldest, demanding an answer. For the first time, the Avatar of Pride doesn’t have the answer. Does he take the life of an innocent child or does he subject his brother to a lifetime of suffering? It's an impossible decision to make where either party ultimately loses in the end.

Lucifer reaches down and takes the infant into his arms, a pained look on his face as he scrutinizes the infant’s appearance. Suddenly, he’s flashing back to his time as an angel, back to the first time he ever held Mammon in his arms. The child is an exact carbon copy of their father, no apparent features from his mother or her sisters, this was the best case scenario, but the little one looks sickly- likely due to the lack of demonic influence that would have been received from their father had he been present during the pregnancy.

Finally, after remaining silent for what felt like eternity Lucifer spoke up. “The child doesn’t look long from this world. We’ll wait for morning. If they survive the night, we’ll take them with us- let Mammon decide what to do with them.”

The other two nodded as Beel went back downstairs to finish the meal he had started.

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“You don’t have to take him, Mammon.” Asmo kept staring at the photo on his brother’s D.D.D. as he spoke.

“He has no one else, Asmo,” The white-haired demon frowns. “I can’t just leave him to die and it’s not like I can just give ‘im away either. As much as I hate it, he’s the heir to everything I am- the next Avatar of Greed, the next ruler of the fourth layer. It’ll be hard at first, but I’ll force myself to look past what happened to me. This isn’t his fault, so why punish him for the crimes of his mother and her sisters? He’s innocent in all this.”

“Even now,” the Avatar of Lust chuckled sadly, “after all these years, you still have the heart of an angel, don’t you? You aren’t thinking about what this will do to you, are you? He’ll be a constant reminder of your trauma. Is that really fair to you?”

“It isn't, but when has life ever been fair? If life was fair, we wouldn’t ’ve lost Lilith- wouldn't ‘ve fallen from the Celestial Realm.” He wiped at his eyes.

“No. It’s not, but I still think this is a bad idea for you. None of us will stop you if this is what you want to do but you shouldn’t do it just out a sense of obligation.” Asmo placed a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “You should only keep him if you want to.”

At the look of resignation on Mammon’s face, Arella placed a hand on his back. “We’re here if you need us. If it gets to be too much, I can help care for him, okay?” She echoes the words she had said previously.

“Babe, you don’t-”

“I know I don’t, but I want to.” She smiled softly. “We’re in this together. All of us.” She looked to the strawberry blonde demon as he nodded in agreement.

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Satan sat in the rocking chair next to the crib while Lucifer was on the phone notifying Diavolo of the situation as well as speaking to Arella in regards to the baby. He studied his nephew, wondering just what might happen to the little boy. Over the hours since finding him here, the tiny half-demon seemed to be getting stronger- likely from just being in the presence of his brothers and him. It was apparent that the child would be coming with them. He wondered what his brother’s reaction would be to the infant. Demons were known to kill unwanted offspring out of panic.

It was the circle of life, the blonde supposed. Not what the child deserved, but if it led to that, there was really nothing anyone could do. He was drawn from his thoughts as quiet chirps sounded from the boy. He watched as the infant brought his little hand to his mouth and he started squirming in the mass of blankets he was swaddled in.

The Avatar of Wrath looked around for a bottle or really anything that could be a source of nourishment. Of course, the newborn would get hungry eventually- that's essentially all babies at this age, eat and sleep. The demon finally finds a mini fridge on the wall opposite the crib, right next to the changing table. He had never fed a baby before but he would be willing to try as long as it kept the boy satisfied and kept him from crying. A trial by fire as they say.

Rocking the infant carefully, he slowly got up and retrieved a bottle from the fridge. It was a lot smaller than he thought an infant should take but it was good enough for the time being. Thankfully there was a bottle warmer placed on a nightstand near the crib. He placed it inside, setting the temperature at that of a human’s normal body temperature. When the milk was sufficiently heated, he gave it to the child who then suckled it down rather quickly,

“Hey now, there’s no need to suck it down so fast. You'll choke if you’re not careful.”

Lucifer had rejoined at him at this point. The scene of his brother trying so hard to feed the baby almost made him chuckle. “I can take him, if you’d like, Satan.”

“Please, I really don’t know how to do this.” He pulled the bottle away so he could transfer the child to his older brother.

“It won’t be long until the dawn. Gather up some of his things as we’ll be taking him with us. I just got off the phone with Arella. She told me Mammon plans on keeping the him.” Lucifer only sighed, wondering if the Avatar of Greed was only doing this out of a sense of obligation and responsibility.

Green to yellow gradient eyes widen in surprise at the statement. “He’s planning on keeping him? I figured he wouldn’t want anything to do with the baby.”

“As did I but, for all of our brother’s flaws, he’s still genuinely a good person. I don’t think he can really leave behind someone who needs him- especially an innocent child.” Lucifer looks down at the child who has now finished the bottle. “Hand me a rag.”

“Why?”

“Well, I would prefer not to be spat up on and now that he’s finished eating, he needs to be burped.” The eldest moved the infant to rest against his shoulder as Satan handed him the nearest rag he could find. “Babies aren’t capable of burping on their own. Now, go gather his things. I’ll tend to him for the time being."

Next

Masterlist 2

[siarrawrites]

Rating Various Star Wars Curses

a guide w much real swearing, inspired by a midnight convo with @kckenobi​

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crink/crinking -- what the actual fuck is this supposed to be. Who came up with this??? We’re only a few letters away from ‘crinkled’ or even ‘tinkled’, god. No self respecting Space Adult is going to use this.---  -2/10 pls try again

sithspit-- a classic. can be found everywhere in fic. kind of sounds like you’re hissing, which the sith would probably appreciate actually. (do normal space ppl use this or is it just a jedi thing tho bc most star wars citizens dont seem to know abt the sith???) --- 9/10 very sssssssmooth

holy sith!-- again with the sith?? ok i guess. a pretty good alternative to ‘holy shit’ but lacks the pazzazz of sithspit which is 10x more fun to say ---6/10 reliable but uninspired

frizz/frizzled -- what is this, the magic school-bus? I love Ms. Frizzle with all my heart of course, which is why im disturbed by seeing her name used as an approximation of fucked (it kinda sounds like jizz too which I HATEE). I can maybe see it as a kiddie swear like frick though. ---3/10 what the frizz is this

dwang-- ...kind of strange but you know what I’ll accept it --5/10 haha dwang the rock johnson

e chu ta-- a solid fuck you. definitely sounds like a space language, and has a nice ring to it when said with passion. works for characters ages 9-->999, thank you kiddie anakin for this gem. --10/10, ‘a fine addition to my collection!!’

sleemo-- sounds like the word ‘sleazy’ and for once the real word association does it a favor. You hear this and just KNOW what kind of person it describes. ---8/10 honestly huttese curses can get it

farkled-- ...this is the name of a fucking dice game. also it sounds nasty                --0/10 get sued pls 

blast-- idk if this is actually a star wars curse or an irl thing, but it absolutely should be. you got BLASTers for cripes sake this shit writes itself -- 10/10 it just makes sense honey

son of a blaster-- ok we get it guns aren’t a thing in space. except they are. sob is great i guess but consider son of a slugthrower boom alliteration plus badass space guns lets go boys ---7/10 alliteration is key

kark/karking-- amazing. inspired. beautiful. I regularly forget this isn’t an actual thing and use it in everyday life. gotta love the hard consonants she is cathartic as kark to use. -- 50/10 she just hits different ok

kriff/kriffing-- basically ‘frick’. Actually sounds like a kid-ification of kark and I just really admire that about her. 10/10 all the cool initiates say kriff

bantha poodoo-- the one that started this whole discussion. listen, this is fine when you’re 9 year old anakin skywalker and say ‘yippee’ unironically but for anyone else this is just embarrassing -- 2/10 ok if you’re baby i guess

skrog/skrogging-- at first I was gonna rate this one low bc it sounds weird and is a synonym for fuck (which just ain’t it). but then I thought about it and realized that if you replace bantha poodoo with bantha skrog you actually have a somewhat decent word for space shit. --- 6/10 we done figured it out boys 

snark/snarking-- this is already a real word. why are you stealing actual live words out of the english dictionary sir that’s  i l l e g a l  --- 0/10 for plagiarism

druk-- a solid replacement for shit, and more serious than skrog (though bantha skrog sounds better than bantha druk imo). gotta love those consonants, and a ‘drukload’ of problems is a phrase that just works. 9/10 will always be there for you

krong-- I just... I dont... know? How i feel abt this. reminds me of king kong donkey kong AND kronk from emperors new groove. maybe thats my own brains fault but also where does this work?? ‘dont krong things up’ just use kark? ‘bantha krong’ just use skrog or druk. In conclusion? --4/10 ok but you can do better

schuta-- we’re branching out folks! finally, a twi’leki curse. she’s catchy and  very fun to say, but it does mean slut, and we respect women in this household. If you wanna make a very despicable character say it though it will help make us all want to beat ‘em up :) ---5/10 all women are QUEENS george

vape/vaping-- ... ill give u a pass bc I dont think vaping was a thing when this word was made, but this straight up doesn’t work in the blessed decade of 2020 ---1/10 you’re on thin fucking ice

shab/shabuir-- not to be confused w ‘shebs’ which is just mandalorian booty, this is mandalorian shit. Sounds like a real word, is mandalorian which automatically makes everything 10x more legit, and has that lovely insult variation! ---7/10 truly some shit I can get behind (heh)

vong-- we don’t mention the y**zhan v*ng in this household --- -∞/10 legends can get right tf outta here

shavit-- friends, I had to look this one up to make sure it wasn’t actually a real swear word. I think I’ve picked this one up through osmosis reading fic bc I’ve definitely used this in real life. that’s quality folks. --- 10000+/10, will unironically say this from now on

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KC, I cried laughing at some of these I truly dont know where they come up with this stuff. 

there’s a lot more where these came from but i didnt feel like doing all of them, heres the link tho , knock yourselves out

[princesssarcastia]

2021 Harry Potter Fanfic Primer

im here to point fingers at the incredible authors that have enabled my new interest in HP content.  im still conflicted and upset about it, tbh, but for now we’re leaning into the curve.  we’re getting out our shovel and finding out just how deep we can make the hole we’re in.  hand in unlovable hand my beloved <3.  anyway, these fics are wonderful, their authors are wonderful, and you should go read their stuff. if there’s a star next to it that means im losing my mind over it and always will be.

Creatively Maladjusted, by elumish on AO3, 101k  (they also have a wonderful writing advice blog on tumblr, @elumish, which I recommend following if you are a writer) 

A very excellent re-telling of harry’s first year at hogwarts if he were sorted into Slytherin, plus some more not!fic or piecemeal re-tellings of his second and part of his third year.  Harry, in this, has a slightly different trauma response to growing up with the Dursley’s.  He’s a bit quieter, and the signs are a bit more obvious to the people around him, and I enjoyed that immensely. 

Honestly, if you’re going to get sucked into something you have absolutely no business getting sucked into, elumish is the way to go, their fic is incredible. their teen wolf fic is also immaculate, if you’re so inclined. 

Dissonance, by ImpishTubist on AO3, 2.5k (@impishtubist on tumblr)

Set during fifth year.  Oblivious!Harry has always been a delightful trope when well executed, and this is well executed.  Plus, some angst between Remus and Harry over what Umbridge has been doing to him.

I would certainly recommend a lot of ImpishTubist’s other hp work on AO3, like Lacuna.

blow us all away, by rexcorvidae on AO3, 23k (@rexcorvidae on tumblr)

In progress (like, updated last week in progress).  Currently in the beginning of Harry’s first year.  Fem!Harry, Indian!Harry.  Hagrid puts Harry in touch with Remus when she has questions about her parents, and they become reluctant, traumatized, angst-ridden pen pals who keep missing each other’s true intentions like ships in the night.  hot DAMN do I love this fic.  there’s hints of the way the dursley’s treat Harry peaking through in her letters, and I appreciated the attention to “hmm, her experience as a girl of indian descent in britain under the thumb of a bunch of white people who like being Normal may not have been gucci”

Definitely comb through the rest of their HP fic, too, I may or may not have gone feral over it.

Where the Heart is, by silver_fish on AO3, 15k (@kohakhearts on tumblr)

Woof.  This one said, “hey, harry was probably SUPER depressed in the summer after fifth year.  like, clinically.  maybe someone should do something about that.”  Fuck yeah.  Then this one said, “that someone was Snape.”  You all know my opinions on Snape; generally, Bad.  But damn if this fic didn’t wholly convince me by the end of it.  I thought it was a very realistic way for Snape to start seeing Harry as a person all on his own, and not a proxy for Snape’s angst over James and Lily, respectively.  The angst is wonderful, the ending is even more so.

*bernie sanders voice* I am once again asking you to read through the rest of the author’s HP fic.  a lot of them have similar themes; there’s actually a great one with Molly that i’m not reccing here, Wonder.

☆Bindings, Bindings, by Quietlemonhush on AO3, 60k (@quietlemonhush on tumblr)

WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS TO YOU HOW MUCH I ENJOYED/AM ENJOYING THIS.  If I had to pick a single fic and say “you, it’s your fault I’m stuck here,” it would be this one.  Anyway Lily in the afterlife is So Very Angry about how Petunia is treating Harry, and how Sirius is rotting in Azkaban, and how Remus is alone, that she literally brings herself back to life and drags James and Regulus with her.  All three of them are there to chew bubblegum and fix everything that went wrong after they died—and would you look at that, they’re all out of bubblegum!  There’s only Fury left.  That inciting premise is very crack, but every moment after that is very much not crack.  Lily and James love harry more than anything, the way a child should be loved; James and Sirius have the epic friendship of a lifetime; Sirius and Remus have staggering amounts of resolved sexual tension and take turns keeping each other in check; Regulus, though he realized that Voldemort and his family were shit before he died, is still unlearning all his racist bullshit and, also, years of trauma.  Actually, they’re all traumatized, but hey: now they have one another again and not a damn one of them seems inclined to let go anytime soon.  Quietlemonhush went, “hey, HP has a lot of Awful people in it, and a lot of Righteous people in it, and many of them are Very, Very Powerful; also, love is the most powerful force in the universe” and i said “hell yes tell me more right now.”  And then they did!

Quietlemonhush writes Sirius/Remus in a way that makes it sooo much fun to devour, so the rest of their HP fic is most certainly worth a look, if that’s your thing.

Rebuilding, by Colubrina on AO3, 113k (@colubrina on tumblr)

Hermione/Draco (*shrug emojis into the abyss* yeah, yeah, like none of us have ever been there before).  Takes place during Hogwarts 8th year, and while the beginning is, IMO, a little unfair to Ron, it gets much better.  Tells the story of Hermione and Draco clearing the air, learning to like each other, having some hormones over each other, and then falling in love.  Also tells the story of Hermione and Theo Nott becoming friends; the story of how every single 7th and 8th year student is fucked to hell by the war and the Carrows; the story of how they start an emotional support group about it and all become friends; and the story of, what the hell do you do with yourself after that kind of trauma?

I’ve been dipping in and out of Colubrina’s HP since before I was even on tumblr; I actually found them in those dark yesteryears when the only fandom interactions I had were on fanfiction.net.  Of such fame as Green Girl, which is an HP fic staple, and has also written a lot of wackier, crackier, and darker things than that.  If you don’t take yourself too seriously, I highly recommend many of their big HP works, though I imagine it’ll press some people’s buttons.  Colubrina’s work really does take up a corner of my mind whenever I’m in an HP mood, and will take up yours if you let it.

☆ all waiting is long, by shuofthewind on AO3, 149k ( @shu-of-the-wind on tumblr)

This is so well written that I can’t stop thinking about it.  It is occupying my mind when I lie awake at night, you know?  It’s one of those.  Hermione messes with something she probably shouldn’t have in Grimmauld Place, so when Sirius is sent through the Veil in the Department of Mysteries, she gets thrust into an alternate universe...in 1975.  Instead of handwaving it away, shuofthewind actually gets into the mechanics of it in a way that makes sense, to emphasize that hermione is never going home.  ever. The world she finds herself is shifted slightly to the left, quite a bit darker, but in a “the author is treating the idea of a society-wide conflict over blood purity much more seriously than JKR ever did” way, not a sensationalist way.  Now, Hermione has to grapple with all her grief at losing everyone she’s ever loved or known, the moral/ethical/magical implications of sharing what she knows about her future in an alternate world, and, you know, a goddamn war with people who want to murder her for being who she is.  This Hermione is smart, and she’s kind, and she’s powerful, and she’s making real friends.  If you hate JKR’s guts I’d go read this right now, because it delivers in all the ways she failed us.  It’s plotty, its got great world-building, and it pulls back the white curtain on the wizarding world to show you that, like real life, it’s multicultural and full of queer people...and the discrimination that comes with both.

shuofthewind write epics, mainly for the MCU, and I’ve read some of them a looooong time ago, so this fic kinda seemed out of left field for me but im SOOOO GLAD it exists.  If you want MCU fic you can sink your teeth into, go for it, but alas, they do not have any more HP fic (.......yet?)

Speak Now [+] Listen Now, by mrsfrizzle on AO3, 33k altogether

Harry reaches out to Remus for support because Umbridge is getting to him with her literal torture.  Remus, being a former professor, former mandatory reporter, person who loves Harry and has since he was born, and all around good man, tells Harry he has to tell someone, or Remus will.  It’s everything any adult looking back on that time in HP canon ever wanted, which is for an actual adult to say “what the fuck, those are literal chidlren” and then do something about it.  Then, a far more dangerous task: Harry trusts Remus enough to go to him about the Dursleys.  Harry and Remus’ relationship develops SO WELL, and there’s a bit of exploration about how Sirius may not exactly be guardian material, because he did in fact spend 12 years of his life getting tortured instead of growing up.  I think I’m actually going to go reread this right now, because it speaks to my id.

they do have some other HP fic which did not appeal to my hyperspecific wants, but may appeal to some of yours.  I think they’re also a published author, there should be a link on their profile page.

chase the stars, by Duskglass on AO3, 101k (@felix-duskglass on tumblr)

When Harry is five years old, a picture of him ends up in the Daily Prophet, and Sirius Black, Terror of Ministry Officials Touring Azkaban everywhere, gets a hold of that issue.  He then, in order: breaks out of Azkaban; crosses the countryside to Surrey; Finds Harry: Kidnaps Harry; Breaks Into Remus’ Apartment; starts processing (or maybe just acknowledging) his trauma from Azkaban, the war, and his childhood; and pines after Remus.  It’s a little plotty, and deals a lot (sometimes through flashbacks) with the specific awful things that happened to Sirius—largely because, after years in the constant presence of Dementors, those are nearly literally the only memories he has left.  It’s a wonder he’s got the strength to love Harry and Remus at all.  But then, maybe it isn’t.

This is a Very Serious Fic, but the rest of Duskglass’s HP work is actually just cracky enough to tickle your funny-bone, while still making you think “okay but why couldn’t we have done that in the first place.”

So!  That’s it for recs, for now.  These are all things I’ve found and read in the last month; if any of y’all are interested in my old HP recs, let me know and I can make a post for that, too.  While I’m still very conflicted about my choice of current fandom, I am not in ANY way conflicted about my taste in fic and authors.  Send these guys some love, read their fic if you’re so inclined, and leave some nice comments at the end of it.